Tag Archives: francine pascal

The French Are Doing It Better: LES JUMELLES DE SWEET VALLEY

16 Jan

Recently, I secured a copy of Les Jumelles De Sweet Valley California College: “Chacune pour soi” direct from France. Given that my French is limited to: “Je suis Winston. J’adore Maria Santelli”, the subject matter of this book is not particularly conducive to snark.

However, thanks to google translate, I managed to deduce that the book is called “Each Man For Himself” and is actually a [rough] translation of SVH #31, “Taking Sides”. I haven’t gotten around to recapping this one in English yet, but it’s the story of Lila and Enid vying for the affection of Sweet Valley High’s newest addition: Jeffery French. Because this is Sweet Valley, he is immune to everyone’s charms – except that of the pious do-gooder St Elizabeth Wakefield. Here’s hoping the book is better in another language.

Below is the blurb on the back cover, and its [googled] translation into English:

Un nouvel eleve vient d’arriver a Sweet Valley High. Jeffery, un garcon symp, bien dans sa peau, passionne de photos et champion de water-polo. Pas etonnant que toutes les filles soient folles de lui. Notamment la tres sexy Lisa, l’aime de Jessica, et la toute timide Enid, l’aimie d’Elizabeth. Chacune des jumelles va essayer d’aider son amie a seduire le beau Jeffery et ce n’est pas forcement la plus jolie ou la plus aguicheuse qui decrochera le gros lot.

A new student has just arrived Sweet Valley High. Jeffery, a boy symptoms, although in his skin, passionate, photos and champion water polo. No wonder that all girls are crazy about him. Including the very sexy Lisa, loves Jessica, and any timid Enid, loves Elizabeth. Each twin will try to help his friend to seduce the beautiful Jeffery and not necessarily the prettiest or the most alluring that hit the jackpot.

Ahem – who is Lisa? And when did Jeffery add water polo to his list of accomplishments? I got my French-competent dad to read chapter one for me, and it turns out that Lila Fowler is in fact one of the ladies vying for his attention [phew!] and that Jeffery is actually a soccer player [thankyou universe for restoring order.]
However, I’m super glad that the Parisians have clarified Enid’s love for Elizabeth, also that the person who “hit the jackpot” – Elizabeth – is neither the prettiest, nor the most alluring.

Suck à ce sujet, saint Elizabeth Wakefield

SWEET VALLEY REPEATS ITSELF!

2 Jul

Apparently Fran-Pasc’s ghostwriters were subscribers to the school of thought “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” In fact, they realized that if a story worked in one series, why not repeat it in another? And so we ended up with SVH#72, “Rock Star’s Girl” and SVT#55 “Brooke and Her Rock Star Mom” which are so freaking similar that I got some serious de ja vu…

“Brooke and Her Rock Star Mom” Courtesy of Amazon

“Rock Star’s Girl” Courtesy of Shannon’s Sweet Valley High Blog

SVT# 55 BROOKE AND HER ROCK STAR MOM SVH#72 ROCK STAR’S GIRL
PUBLISHED January 1992 February 1991
Central Character [to be relegated to third tier after this book] Brooke Dennis Andrea Slade
Rock Star Parent Constance “Coco” Gray Jamie Peters
Album Hot Coco Pride
Reason for being in Sweet Valley [centre of the universe] Brooke moved to Sweet Valley earlier in the year with her dad. Her mother, Mrs Gray, has been busy becoming a pop star in France [Fran-Pasc’s fave city] and has a new hubby and baby. She has moved to SV to be some semblance of a parent to her daughter. [maybe she will take parenting tips off Nalice??] Andrea moved to Sweet Valley with her Dad, who wanted a break from rock star life. They live on a massive property near the Morrow/Fowler/Patman estates.
Main Problem Coco’s manipulative agent Bernice wants Brooke and Coco’s new family to be kept a secret, as it could ruin Coco’s image! Oh no! So while Brooke’s friends at SVMS go “Coco crazy”, she has to hide out at her mother’s hotel and pretend she’s not interested. Also, Bernice bans her from going to her mother’s concert. Are you f#@*ing serious? Andrea wants to keep her father’s identity a secret so people will like her for who she is. Then, when Lila and Jessica hear about Jamie Peters moving to SV, they decide to follow him home and spy on him. And there he is, lounging by the pool at his Spanish-style villa – with Andrea! So of course this means she is his live-in-lover, and Jess/Lila spread rumors around SVH so that Andrea is shunned and dumped by her new bf.
Confides In [Who else??] Saint Liz Saint Liz[Seriously, why does she befriend all the new people for just one book and then move on to a new project once all their problems are solved??]
What Jessica “Joe Jackson” Wakefield tries to get out of it Front row tickets to rock star’s concert. She even starts the first “Coco Crazy” fan club. A dry hump with said rock star
Love interest Colin Harmon Nicholas Morrow [YAY!]
Climax Brooke runs away* Andrea runs away
Solution Rock star phones Liz Rock star phones Liz
Subplot The Wakefield’s threw a party the previous week and try to keep it a secret from Nalice. Of course, when they do own up, there is no punishment because their honesty is oh so admirable. Nice one, Nalice. Lila takes up the marimba and hopes to impress Jamie Peters with it [WTF?]

* fortunately, Jess happens to be at the bus stop as Brooke is making a run for it, so she coerces Brooke into hiding out IN THE WAKEFIELD’S BASEMENT FOR TWO DAYS until Saint Liz can drag her out with some berry pancakes

And another thing….

Nicholas Morrow takes Andrea out on his boat, called “Morning Glory”. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!! [For die-hards, the boat was actually called “My Favourite Twin” when he was hot for Elizabeth in SVH#18, Deceptions]

When they’re not going Coco Crazy or hiding their friends in the basement, the twins are getting psyched for Aunt Helen’s upcoming visit. Can someone tell me who Aunt Helen is? And where she fits into the whole Wakefield-ancestry thing that we have two whole magna editions devoted to in SVH????

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