Tag Archives: jeffery french

The French Are Doing It Better: LES JUMELLES DE SWEET VALLEY

16 Jan

Recently, I secured a copy of Les Jumelles De Sweet Valley California College: “Chacune pour soi” direct from France. Given that my French is limited to: “Je suis Winston. J’adore Maria Santelli”, the subject matter of this book is not particularly conducive to snark.

However, thanks to google translate, I managed to deduce that the book is called “Each Man For Himself” and is actually a [rough] translation of SVH #31, “Taking Sides”. I haven’t gotten around to recapping this one in English yet, but it’s the story of Lila and Enid vying for the affection of Sweet Valley High’s newest addition: Jeffery French. Because this is Sweet Valley, he is immune to everyone’s charms – except that of the pious do-gooder St Elizabeth Wakefield. Here’s hoping the book is better in another language.

Below is the blurb on the back cover, and its [googled] translation into English:

Un nouvel eleve vient d’arriver a Sweet Valley High. Jeffery, un garcon symp, bien dans sa peau, passionne de photos et champion de water-polo. Pas etonnant que toutes les filles soient folles de lui. Notamment la tres sexy Lisa, l’aime de Jessica, et la toute timide Enid, l’aimie d’Elizabeth. Chacune des jumelles va essayer d’aider son amie a seduire le beau Jeffery et ce n’est pas forcement la plus jolie ou la plus aguicheuse qui decrochera le gros lot.

A new student has just arrived Sweet Valley High. Jeffery, a boy symptoms, although in his skin, passionate, photos and champion water polo. No wonder that all girls are crazy about him. Including the very sexy Lisa, loves Jessica, and any timid Enid, loves Elizabeth. Each twin will try to help his friend to seduce the beautiful Jeffery and not necessarily the prettiest or the most alluring that hit the jackpot.

Ahem – who is Lisa? And when did Jeffery add water polo to his list of accomplishments? I got my French-competent dad to read chapter one for me, and it turns out that Lila Fowler is in fact one of the ladies vying for his attention [phew!] and that Jeffery is actually a soccer player [thankyou universe for restoring order.]
However, I’m super glad that the Parisians have clarified Enid’s love for Elizabeth, also that the person who “hit the jackpot” – Elizabeth – is neither the prettiest, nor the most alluring.

Suck à ce sujet, saint Elizabeth Wakefield

You’ve Just Been Winston-ed! Or #34, “Forbidden Love”

7 Jul

On first glimpse, I thought the cover art must have been Maria’s parents. Michael looks like Charlie Sheen. Maria looks drop dead HAWT but a little on the skinny side. Also, is that a barrette? Maria, I thought better of you!

We begin at 137 Calico Drive, where Jessica is gushing about the recent engagement between Michael Harris and Maria Santelli, whose families have been feuding for 4 years over some failed business partnership of which the details are rather sketchy. Liz has a furrowed brow and is worried about this “enormous mistake”, so we should know already that the marriage is DOOMED. “A nice guy – but a husband?”

Next thing, its cheerleading practice, and Maria is swearing vapid floozies like Amy Sutton and Lila Fowler to secrecy over the engagement, because the Santellis would flip if they found out about her sleeping with the enemy. Good luck with that.

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Winston Bags a Unicorn or SVT#52, Booster Boycott

17 Jun

Winston didn’t know what was more cheer-worthy – the fact that he was in a club with the horniest girls in school, or that he had narrowly escaped a Todd-punch.

The unicorns are in turmoil! Someone forgot to wear purple? No… Someone got caught speaking to Lois Waller in the cafeteria? No….Johnny Buck is dead?

Wrong again!

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